Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
