I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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