I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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