I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
