If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I need help removing her.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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