so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
