WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
