"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
