i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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