dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
