Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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