I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
