I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
