No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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