Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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