Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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