I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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