I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
