You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
