he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
this is an emotional support booty call
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
