His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
