First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
