He uses pillows to masturbate.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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