This is not my ceiling
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
