she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
