You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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