you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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