Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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