If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i dont even know how to be here
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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