so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
