Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
