I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The convent might be a nice break from real life
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
