yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
