Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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