Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
