You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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