so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
