Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
