i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
