Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
well you can't waste a boner
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
