I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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