Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
