what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
