I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
