My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
