she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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