I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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