Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
love makes seman taste better
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
