Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
