He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
